Friday, January 27, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2011
Political Joke
Chopping The Cherry Tree...
Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe . His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth :-
'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell
a lie. I did cut it with my axe.'
This is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question :-
PM Badawi -
I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.
Najib -
I swear that I have never MET that tree.
Hishamuddin-
... but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree.
Dr.M -
Apa nama cherry tree, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.
Chua Soi Lek -
Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.
VK Lingam -
It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think it's me.
Anwar Ibrahim -
I DID NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA samples for you to plant on the axe handle.
Khir Toyo -
the new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.
Ahmad Said ( TerrenganuMB)-
I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.
Azalina Othman -
The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down. Besides there were unauthorized signboards put up around the tree.
Shabery Cheek -
I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.
Samy Velu -
I chopped it because HINDRAF members were using it as a meeting point
Wira Ali Rustam -
We have planted Durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.
Rais Yatim -
You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustan said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see- it's a WIN-WIN situation all around.
Sharir Samad -
I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidize it.
Karpal Singh -
The bigfoot creature did it.
Bung Mokhtar -
The big monkey did it
Pandikar Amin Mulia -
There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees, Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.sit down.
Khairy Jamaluddin -
I did not do it, neither did the mat rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree ?
Lim Kit Siang -
In response to Khairy - cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford.
Nazri Aziz -
racist, racist, racist, when we cut down durian trees nobody
made a fuss.
Malaysian Citizens -
oh for heaven's sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death.
Hahaha~! Unless u understand this, IM NOT TALKIN TO YOU! Hahahaha
Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe . His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth :-
'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell
a lie. I did cut it with my axe.'
This is a satire of how some Malaysian politicians circa 2008 may have reacted to the question :-
PM Badawi -
I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.
Najib -
I swear that I have never MET that tree.
Hishamuddin-
... but I only own a keris, not axe, how to cut down the tree.
Dr.M -
Apa nama cherry tree, I chopped it down because, I don't like the idea of Pak lah sleeping under it.
Chua Soi Lek -
Yes it was me, I resign as caretaker of this orchard.
VK Lingam -
It could be me, it might have been me but I don't think it's me.
Anwar Ibrahim -
I DID NOT do it, and I am not giving any DNA samples for you to plant on the axe handle.
Khir Toyo -
the new state government should just trim the grass and not waste time asking who cut the tree.
Ahmad Said ( TerrenganuMB)-
I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.
Azalina Othman -
The cherry tree is not included under my tourism MOU so I cut it down. Besides there were unauthorized signboards put up around the tree.
Shabery Cheek -
I challenge you to a debate on tree cutting.
Samy Velu -
I chopped it because HINDRAF members were using it as a meeting point
Wira Ali Rustam -
We have planted Durian trees for 50 years and we will plant them for another 50 years, we do not need cheery trees, apple trees, pear trees and all these other foreign trees.
Rais Yatim -
You must see the bigger picture, Ahmad said cherry trees are expensive to maintain, Ali Rustan said that are against our national identity and I needed to test my new axe, so you see- it's a WIN-WIN situation all around.
Sharir Samad -
I cut the tree because we could no longer afford to subsidize it.
Karpal Singh -
The bigfoot creature did it.
Bung Mokhtar -
The big monkey did it
Pandikar Amin Mulia -
There is nothing in the standing orders against chopping cherry trees, Kinabatangan duduk, Bukit Gelugor duduk.sit down.
Khairy Jamaluddin -
I did not do it, neither did the mat rempits. By the way, what's a cherry tree ?
Lim Kit Siang -
In response to Khairy - cherry tree also you don't know, you are an insult to Oxford.
Nazri Aziz -
racist, racist, racist, when we cut down durian trees nobody
made a fuss.
Malaysian Citizens -
oh for heaven's sake! Somebody plant something before we all starve to death.
Hahaha~! Unless u understand this, IM NOT TALKIN TO YOU! Hahahaha
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Random English Facts. XD
Since we speak English everyday..here are some interesting facts about our beloved language..
p.s-make sure you read no.12
1. No word in the English language rhymes with month.
2. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
3. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
4. "Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und."
5. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
6. There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
7. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
8. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.
9. There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, here, ere, therein, herein.
10. No words in the English language rhyme with orange, silver or purple.
11. 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
12. Guess what!!>>To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.
13. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
14. The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
p.s-make sure you read no.12
1. No word in the English language rhymes with month.
2. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
3. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.
4. "Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und."
5. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
6. There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
7. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
8. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.
9. There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, here, ere, therein, herein.
10. No words in the English language rhyme with orange, silver or purple.
11. 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
12. Guess what!!>>To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.
13. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."
14. The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
The great detox deception: From mud wraps to drinking syrup, detoxes are 'pointless, dangerous claptrap'
By John NaishLast updated at 1:14 AM on 13th December 2011
Gulping pints of maple syrup mixed with chilli peppers, having enemas, being sucked by leeches or getting wrapped in cling film until your body overheats...
All of these so called ‘detoxes’ are undertaken every year by millions of women in the pursuit of good health and beauty.
The treatments promise to cure a range of vague ailments, such as tiredness, headaches, bloating, back pain and skin problems, by cleansing your body’s blood and organs of a welter of accumulated ‘toxic’ chemicals.
We have an excellent system for getting rid of potentially harmful substances - it is called the human body, says Professor David Bender
At best, it is pointless — and at worst, highly dangerous.
The professor also points out, in this month’s edition of the British Society of Biology’s journal, The Biologist, that we have an excellent system for getting rid of potentially harmful substances — it is called the human body.
However, Professor Bender’s wise warning is in danger of being drowned by the clamour of commercial propaganda.
Over the past decade, detoxing has grown from an obscure alternative quirk into a multi-million-pound industry promoted by celebrities such Beyonce Knowles, Angelina Jolie and Demi Moore.
Even Prince Charles has joined in, by marketing a Duchy Originals herbal ‘detox tincture’ featuring globe artichoke and dandelion.
But there is no doubt that detoxing can be dangerous as well as expensively pointless.
Medical officials in Quebec said their tests showed that the dead woman, Chantal Lavigne, 35, had suffered heat stroke and asphyxiation.
In terms of human biology, the idea of detoxing is absurd. But the health and beauty industry is notoriously reluctant to let science get in the way of a money-spinner.
The basic fallacy, says Professor Bender, is that ‘large amounts of toxic waste accumulate in our bodies and must be eliminated by some kind of dietary regime’.
There is no doubt that detoxing can be dangerous as well as expensively pointless
This waste disposal system has evolved over millions of years and works throughout the day and night to remove unwanted substances.
The gut prevents bacteria and many toxins from entering the body.
And our organs are constantly creating highly complex chemical reactions throughout our bodies that turn food and drink into hormones, energy and even medicines, says Professor Bender.
Our metabolisms are also highly efficient at dissolving unwanted substances harmlessly into our urine and bile — a process that biologists call ‘conjugation’ — so we can void them when we visit the bathroom.
Thus the idea of ‘bad’ chemicals simply sitting around in our bodies waiting to be removed by expensive detox regimen is nonsensical, says Professor Bender.
The scientific community stands fully behind the professor’s conclusions.
The campaigning group Sense About Science has investigated 15 detox products, ranging from foot patches to ‘detox’ hair straighteners, and asked the manufacturers for evidence to justify their claims.
‘No one we contacted was able to provide any evidence for their claims or to give a comprehensive definition of what they meant by detox,’ says Sense About Science.
There is heavyweight support from other quarters, too.
Professor Edzard Ernst, the recently retired professor of complementary medicine at the University of Exeter, has argued that if detoxing really did work, it would be simple to prove its effectiveness:
‘All you would need to do is to take a few blood samples from volunteers and test whether this or that toxin is eliminated from the body faster than normal,’ he says.
‘But there are no studies that demonstrate this effectiveness. The reason is simple: these products have no real effects.’
According to market analysts Mintel, detox products were second only to cold and flu remedies for the number of healthcare product launches last year.
The detox industry isn’t adverse to employing a dirty trick or too, either.
Professor Bender explains how the water in the footwell of ‘detoxing’ foot spas doesn’t turn brown because they have drawn nasty coloured toxins out of the body.
All you are witnessing is the salts in the footbath reacting with the electrodes in the machine.
If you don’t put your feet in the water, it will still turn brown after 30 minutes.
Such foot-spa kidology is not simply harmless, says Professor Bender.
‘Far from removing toxins in the body, the process of electrolysing sodium chloride creates substances that are actively hazardous to human health — explosive hydrogen gas and poisonous chlorine gas.’
And as for the many detox diet regimes that are promoted by bestselling books — yes, you may find yourself visiting the toilet a good deal more.
But that is not because you are purging yourself of stubborn waste chemicals. It is the natural result of gorging on high-fibre fruit and drinking lots of liquids, the typical fare of detox diets, which make everything in your bowel far looser.
At the other end of the biological scale are the ‘spiritual benefits’ — most often experienced in the shape of light-headedness.
‘To the mystic, this might signal divine revelation. And to the proponent of detox, it signals the release of toxins ready to be eliminated,’ says Professor Bender.
But to the scientist, it simply reflects the normal response to a drop in blood sugar that these regimes can cause. And light-headedness may be the least of your problems.
The experts at Sense About Science warn that many detox tonics can contain stomach irritants — including herbs such as St John’s Wort — to make you visit the bathroom more often.
These can interfere with the way that medicines can work. In particular, they may lower the effectiveness of the contraceptive Pill.
Thus, women embarking on weight-loss detoxing regimes may discover another unwanted side-effect: pregnancy.
Far from ridding your body of unwanted elements, you may get a lot more than you bargained for.
'Cleansing' water left my wife brain-damaged
Mother of two Dawn Page, 55, suffered irreparable brain damage after just six days on a strict detox diet. The former conference organiser from Wantage, Oxfordshire, has been left with the mental capacity of a small child. Here, her husband Geoff, 56, a project manager for a packaging company, tells her story:
'The future has lost any purpose,' said Geoff Page (pictured with wife Dawn)
All that changed in the autumn of 2001 when she decided to go on a health kick to lose some weight. She consulted a nutritional therapist called Barbara Nash who she’d seen on TV.
She was put on a ‘detoxing diet’ by Barbara that involved cutting out as much salt as possible and drinking a minimum of four pints of water a day.
About six days after starting this detox, Dawn told me she’d been feeling lethargic and tired, then later that evening she became violently sick.
Dawn told me she’d spoken to the nutritionist in case it was something to do with the new regime, but she was told by Barbara to stick with it.
She’d also been told to increase the amount of water from four pints to six.
I also rang the nutritionist, but she told me in quite scientific terms that the symptoms Dawn was experiencing was normal.
She said the symptoms were typical of the detoxing process and that Dawn should maintain the diet. And she emphasised the need to keep up the water intake.
The next day, our son David came home from work to find Dawn collapsed in the bedroom. She was rushed to the local hospital in Swindon.
I was told she was suffering from hyponatraemia, or a water overdose. The body takes in too much water, which dilutes vital salt levels in the blood.
The body’s cells swell, and when that happens in the brain, it causes epileptic fits and brain damage, which is what happened to Dawn.
For a while it was touch and go if she would live.
Over the next two months, Dawn was in and out of intensive care. Her muscles wasted because she was immobile for so long and as a result her body released chemicals that caused kidney failure. She went on dialysis and then developed pneumonia.
As well as severe brain damage, Dawn had also developed epilepsy and a paranoid psychotic illness — she thought I was having affairs.
She had never suffered mental illness or fits before, but suddenly she couldn’t see or speak properly, and had barely any memory or concentration. It was devastating.
I was allowed to take her home just before Christmas 2001, but she was no longer my wife.
She was like a baby who needed everything doing for her, from her nails to using the toilet. The bubbly, outgoing and independent Dawn is no longer with me, and communication is extremely difficult.
The future has lost any purpose and, despite the compensation of £810,000 we received in 2008 in an out-of-court settlement, I worry about Dawn if I were to die.
Last year we moved house to be closer to a network of people who can give her support and help her improve her independence. It’s been devastating for our sons.
I want people to realise just how easy it is get into this predicament. I warn everyone to stay away from these detoxes.
Scientifically, there is no proof that a detox works. And as I’ve learned from bitter experience, it can go horribly wrong.
headwayswindon.org.uk.
By Amanda Revell Walton
2011 celebrity hitched and ditched
Married: Jamie Hince & Kate Moss
Kate Moss married rockstar Jamie Hince back in August. Kate wore a dress designed by the now-controversial John Galliano, who has long considered the 37-year-old model his muse.
Married: Prince William & Kate Middleton
Most anticipated wedding of the year Prince William and Kate Middleton have shared their first kisses as a royal couple on the balcony of Buckingham Palace in April.
Married: Shane Warne & Elizabeth Hurley
Just after news broke of the pair's engagement.Warne reportedly proposed over dinner the night before, to the applause of others in the restaurant, and gave Liz Hurley a stunning sapphire ring.
Married: Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo
Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo tied the knot July 15 on Necker Island. Cameras caught it all on tape for a TLC wedding special.
Married: Michael Buble & Luisana Lopilato
Michael Bublé married fiancée Luisana Lopilato in a civil wedding ceremony in Buenos Aires in a small civil ceremony in April.
Married: Robin Williams & Susan Schneider
Proving it's never too late to get hitched Robin Williams married for the third time this October. The 60-year-old Oscar winner wed graphic designer Susan Schneider.
Married: Lily Allen & Sam Cooper
A pregnant Lily Allen wed boyfriend Sam Cooper in an English countryside village, June 11.
Married: Daniel Craig & Rachel Weisz
Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz pulled off a 'secret wedding'. The former James Bond and one-time Blanche DuBois of "A Streetcar Named Desire" wed in New York in front of just four people, People reported
Married: Reese Witherspoon & Jim Toth
The Legally Blonde star got hitched to talent agent Jim Toth on March 26. Among those at the wedding were Witherspoon's two kids from her previous marriage to Ryan Phillippe.
Engaged: Jamie Bower & Bonnie Wright
Jamie Campbell Bower revealed he was engaged to fellow Harry Potter star Bonnie Wright. The two have been coy about their courtship, but Campbell is all smiles. "I'm very happy," he told press.
Married & Divorced: Kris Humphries & Kim Kardashian
After just 72 days of marriage reality TV star Kim Kardashian called off her marriage to basketballer Kris Humphries. E! News host Ryan Seacrest', has confirmed the split. "Yes @kimkardashian is filing for divorce this morning. I touched base with her," he tweeted.
Divorced: Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore
After seven years of marriage, in September Demi Moore released a statement that she was divorcing Kutcher "with great sadness and a heavy heart. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life."
Divorced: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz
These two were so sweet together, we thought they were tight. Ashlee Simpson filed for divorce from Pete Wentz, citing "irreconcilable differences"
Divorced: Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony
Over seven years Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have divorced based on a mutal decision to end their marriage.
Divorced: Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver
After an outstanding 25 years Arnold and Maria have divorced after Arnold secretly married out an extra-martial affair and fathered a child
Divorced: Crystal Harris & Hugh Hefner
Various reports are calling Hefner and Crystall Harris' whole relationship 'a mere publicity stunt'.
Divorced: Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman
Christina Aguilera's five year marriage to music executive Jordan Bratman has wrapped up with a divorce. Details of the split settlement have not been made public.
Split: Sean Penn & Scarlett Johansson
Lasting only five months Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn have ended their relationship. Reason being 'Sean didn't want to get serious'
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Choosing a wife
Choosing a wife
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
Men are like that, you know.
And on another note!
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
If you don't send this to five OLD friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
Men are like that, you know.
And on another note!
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
If you don't send this to five OLD friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world
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