The Perils of English.....in foreign countries

    The perils of English - A collection of howlers...

In a Bangkok temple:
"IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER,
IF DRESSED
AS A MAN."

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE
BAR."

Doctors' office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES"

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS"

In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE
THE MANAGER"

On a River/highway crossing:
"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD
IS
IMPASSABLE."

On a poster at an educational institution:
"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP
YOU"

In a City restaurant:
"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS"

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS"

In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY
BUT THEIR
OWN GRAVES"

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
DISGUSTING
BEHAVIORS IN BED"

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."

In a Tokyo bar:
"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS"

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
OF THE
CHAMBERMAID"

Hotel, Japan:
"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE
CHAMBERMAID."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across a monastery:
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS
RUSSIAN AND
SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED
DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY"

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STR ICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING
SITE THAT
PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN,
LIVE
TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH
OTHER FOR
THIS PURPOSE"

Hotel, Zurich:
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF
THE
OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE
LOBBY BE
USED FOR THIS PURPOSE"

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
"GUARANTEED TO WORK
THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE"

In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM"

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."

A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
AFTERNOON HAVING A
GOOD TIME."