The Perils of English.....in foreign countries

    The perils of English - A collection of howlers...

In a Bangkok temple:
"IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER,
IF DRESSED
AS A MAN."

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
"LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE
BAR."

Doctors' office, Rome:
"SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES"

Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
"DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS"

In a Nairobi restaurant:
"CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE
THE MANAGER"

On a River/highway crossing:
"TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD
IS
IMPASSABLE."

On a poster at an educational institution:
"ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP
YOU"

In a City restaurant:
"OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS"

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
"DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS"

In a cemetery:
"PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY
BUT THEIR
OWN GRAVES"

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
"GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER
DISGUSTING
BEHAVIORS IN BED"

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."

In a Tokyo bar:
"SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS"

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
"THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB
OF THE
CHAMBERMAID"

Hotel, Japan:
"YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE
CHAMBERMAID."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across a monastery:
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS
RUSSIAN AND
SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED
DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY"

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
"IT IS STR ICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING
SITE THAT
PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN,
LIVE
TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH
OTHER FOR
THIS PURPOSE"

Hotel, Zurich:
"BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF
THE
OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE
LOBBY BE
USED FOR THIS PURPOSE"

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
"GUARANTEED TO WORK
THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE"

In a Swiss mountain inn:
"SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM"

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
"WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."

A laundry in Rome:
"LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
AFTERNOON HAVING A
GOOD TIME."

Man jailed 5 years over RM6 million study loan scam

Man jailed 5 years for $2.5 million study loan scam

Published on Feb 16, 2012

• 
  

Between 2006 and 2009, Go Boon Chai, 38, went on to cheat three banks of a total of $2.5 million. The former education agent was jailed five years for cheating. He had pleaded guilty two weeks ago. -- PHOTO: SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE

By Khushwant Singh

He went to take up a business management course at Brookes Business School but learnt how to obtain fraudulent study loans. Between 2006 and 2009, Go Boon Chai, 38, went on to cheat three banks of a total of $2.5 million.
It was payback time on Thursday. The former education agent was jailed five years for cheating. He had pleaded guilty two weeks ago.
A district court then heard that sometime before November 2006, the advertising assistant went to sign up for a business management course at Brookes. Go asked to pay the fees in instalments and the school's principal then, Benny Yap Chee Mun, 41, is said to have suggested he apply for a study loan instead. Court documents also state that Yap provided him with documents that inflated his course fees.
Go applied for two $20,500 study loans and was able to get $12,000 from RHB Bank and $15,500 from Citibank. These were paid to Brookes. Yap kept $9,000 and gave $18,500 to Go. It is not known if there was any payment of course fees.
Yap and Go then hatched a plan to apply for more study loans.
In late 2007, Go split from Yap over doubts about the legitimacy of some of the courses at Brookes.
Yap is claiming trial to cheating charges and his case will be heard in the months ahead : The Straits Times/Asia News Network

Designer brands LONGCHAMP BURBERRY COACH

Longchamp

Founded by Jean Cassegrain in 1948, Longchamp started out specializing in small leather goods but quickly began its foray into lightweight travel items. By the 1980s, Longchamp had gained a foothold in fashion accessories as well. From the combined expertise of leather, travel goods and fashion; it is of litte wonder why Longchamp's bags are as functional as they are stylish with quality craftsmanship to boot. Buy into practicality today with Longchamp's French luxury. Burberry Burberry was established in 1856 when Thomas Burberry, a former draper's apprentice, opened his own store in southeast England. By launching its first logo in  1900 and registering the signature check pattern as a trademark in 1920, Burberry evinced the world  that it understood the principles of brand building and equity . One Priced Wonders Established in 1941 as a family-run workshop with its success recognized in today's fashion scene, Coach continues to maintain the highest standards for materials and workmanship. During the last decade, the label has emerged as America's preeminent designer, producer, and marketer of fine bags, accessories and gifts for both women and men.

The Seasonal Classics

From this mélange of bags featuring brands that embody both functionality and style, you'll be strutting the streets with élan. From the humdrum of the office to the merrymaking after-hours, these bags that have been specially picked for you are indubitably the crème de la crème thus far. These styles represent the paragon of artisan craftsmanship and will unequivocally place you at the zenith of this muted show.

Tabung

Joel Ryan Lee

I remember when I was studying at SMK Damansara Utama as a student. The passing of a student's parent was not a common occurrence. When it did happen, a little 'tabung' would go around the school to collect funds for the students' family.

However, very few would actually chip in unless they knew the deceased's family (the student). I myself didn't really chip in much during my five years at DU for the 'tabung' unless I knew the student myself.

Over here at SMKPR, Bukit Mertajam, I've only been here for 4 months but quite a few of our kids' parents here have passed away already. The 'tabung' has entered my classes a few times throughout for different families.

It kinda makes you wonder... why is this seemingly more common in a community of poor socioeconomic backgrounds? Is it due to the lack of medical amenities? Is it due to a lack of awareness of prevention of diseases? Very possible.

Yesterday I was talking to my collab Muhamad Nadzmi Dzulkifli about one of his student's mother who has breast cancer which made him very quiet and withdrawn in class.

This reality is very sad, you guys.

But this post isn't a sob story. In fact it's quite the opposite.

Something happened today and it really lifted me, almost making clouds form in my eyes. It happened in the weakest Form 4 class; my 4 AKh, where 28 out of the 16/17 year old 33 students are boys and all very rowdy/noisy/disruptive/uninterested in class.

These guys have very little on them.

With a reported household median income of about RM700, they kind of exemplify the group that is always hungry. Once, I brought in my tin of just plain Jacob's into the class as part of my lesson demonstration and everybody was staring at it hungrily; I know a few of them don't eat during recess at all because they don't have enough money. So I shared that tin out.

Yes, a lot of them are really poor.

But when the prefects knocked on my classroom door with the 'tabung' and I let them in, more than three quarters of them started taking out coins from their pockets to put in the 'tabung'. I asked them whether they knew the kid (who was Form 2) but nobody did.

They just gave, you guys.

Even though they didn't know who the deceased's family was.

Why? Simply because they understand. They know how much pain is involved when a loved one is lost. They know that even just a few cents can really help the grieving family.

They care.

Society calls them stupid because the majority of them still cannot form a single grammatically correct 4-word English sentences on their own. Society calls them hopeless because they sleep/talk in every other teacher's class (mine too sometimes ish). Society deems them to have 'no future' because some of them are illiterate/almost illiterate.

But you cannot deny these guys have good hearts. They are my heroes and even though I'm the teacher, I learn stuff from them all the time.

As what Charis Ding said of her kids, I feel the same as well.

"Some of the best people I've ever met."

The Blank Wall

Make The Changes

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking..

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .'

The origin of this letter is unknown, but please pass it on.

Share it with friends and tag them so the cycle continues ... Do not keep this letter ... You could change a life too

17 hours ago

bring me a whisker from a live tiger

• ONCE UPON A TIME a young wife named Yun Ok was at her wit's end. Her husband had always been a tender and loving soulmate before he had left for the wars, but ever since he returned home he was cross, angry, and unpredictable. She was almost
  afraid to live with her own husband. Only in glancing moments did she catch a... shadow of the husband she used to know and love.
  
  When one ailment or another bothered people in her village, they would often rush for a cure to a hermit who lived deep in the mountains. Not Yun Ok. She always prided herself that she could heal her own troubles. But this time was different. She was desperate.
  
  As Yun Ok approached the hermit's hut, she saw the door was open. The old man said without turning around, "I hear you. What's your problem?"
  
  She explained the situation. His back still to her, he said, "Ah yes, it's often that way when soldiers return from the war. What do you expect me to do about it?"
  
  "Make me a potion!" cried the young wife. "Or an amulet, a drink, whatever it takes to get my husband back the way he used to be."
  
  The old man turned around. "Young woman, your request doesn't exactly fall into the same category as a broken bone or ear infection."
  
  "I know," said she.
  
  "It will take three days before I can even look into it. Come back then."
  
  Three days later, Yun Ok returned to the hermit's hut. "Yun Ok," he greeted her with a smile, "I have good news. There is a potion that will restore your husband to the way he used to be, but you should know that it requires an unusual ingredient. You must bring me a whisker from a live tiger."
  
  "What?" she gasped. "Such a thing is impossible!"
  
  "I cannot make the potion without it!" he shouted, startling her. He turned his back. "There is nothing more to say. As you can see, I'm very busy."
  
  That night Yun Ok tossed and turned. How could she get a whisker from a live tiger?
  
  The next day before dawn, she crept out of the house with a bowl of rice covered with meat sauce. She went to a cave on the mountainside where a tiger was known to live. She clicked her tongue very softly as she crept up, her heart pounding, and carefully set the bowl on the grass. Then, trying to make as little noise as she could, she backed away.
  
  The next day before dawn, she took another bowl of rice covered with meat sauce to the cave. She approached the same spot, clicking softly with her tongue. She saw that the bowl was empty, replaced the empty one with a fresh one, and again left, clicking softly and trying not to break twigs or rustle leaves, or do anything else to startle and unsettle the wild beast.
  
  So it went, day after day, for several months. She never saw the tiger (thank goodness for that! she thought) though she knew from footprints on the ground that the tiger - and not a smaller mountain creature - had been eating her food. Then one day as she approached, she noticed the tiger's head poking out of its cave. Glancing downward, she stepped very carefully to the same spot and with as little noise as she could, set down the fresh bowl and, her heart pounding, picked up the one that was empty.
  
  After a few weeks, she noticed the tiger would come out of its cave as it heard her footsteps, though it stayed a distance away (again, thank goodness! she thought, though she knew that someday, in order to get the whisker, she'd have to come closer to it).
  
  Another month went by. Then the tiger would wait by the empty food bowl as it heard her approaching. As she picked up the old bowl and replaced it with a fresh one, she could smell its scent, as it could surely smell hers.
  
  "Actually," she thought, remembering its almost kittenish look as she set down a fresh bowl, "it is a rather friendly creature, when you get to know it." The next time she visited, she glanced up at the tiger briefly and noticed what a lovely downturn of reddish fur it had from over one of its eyebrows to the next. Not a week later, the tiger allowed her to gently rub its head, and it purred and stretched like a house cat.
  
  Then she knew the time had come. The next morning, very early, she brought with her a small knife. After she set down the fresh bowl and the tiger allowed her to pet its head she said in a low voice, "Oh, my tiger, may I please have just one of your whiskers?" While petting the tiger with one hand, she held one whisker at its base, and with the other hand, in one quick stroke, she carved the whisker off. She stood up, speaking softly her thanks, and left, for the last time.
  
  The next morning seemed endless. At last her husband left for the rice fields. She ran to the hermit's hut, clutching the precious whisker in her fist. Bursting in, she cried to the hermit, "I have it! I have the tiger's whisker!"
  
  "You don't say?" he said, turning around. "From a live tiger?"
  
  "Yes!" she said.
  
  "Tell me," said the hermit, interested. "How did you do it?"
  
  Yun Ok told the hermit how, for the last six months, she had earned the trust of the creature and it had finally permitted her to cut off one of its whiskers. With pride she handed him the whisker. The hermit examined it, satisfied himself that it was indeed a whisker from a live tiger, then flicked it into the fire where it sizzled and burned in an instant.
  
  "What have you done?" Yun Ok cried, horrified.
  
  "Yun Ok," the hermit said softly, "you no longer need the whisker. Tell me, is a man more vicious than a tiger? If a dangerous wild beast will respond to your gradual and patient care, do you think a man will respond any less willingly?"
  
  Yun Ok stood speechless. Then she turned and stepped down the trail, turning over in her mind images of the tiger and of her husband, back and forth. She knew what she could do

Recycling and reuse

Recycling involves the collection of used and discarded materials processing these materials and making them into new products. It reduces the amount of waste that is thrown into the community dustbins thereby making the environment cleaner and the air more fresh to breathe.

Surveys carried out by Government and non-government agencies in the country have all recognized the importance of recycling wastes. However, the methodology for safe recycling of waste has not been standardized. Studies have revealed that 7 %-15% of the waste is recycled. If recycling is done in a proper manner, it will solve the problems of waste or garbage. At the community level, a large number of NGOs (Non Governmental Organizations) and private sector enterprises have taken an initiative in segregation and recycling of waste (EXNORA International in Chennai recycles a large part of the waste that is collected). It is being used for composting, making pellets to be used in gasifiers, etc. Plastics are sold to the factories that reuse them.

The steps involved in the process prior to recycling include
a) Collection of waste from doorsteps, commercial places, etc.
b) Collection of waste from community dumps.
c) Collection/picking up of waste from final disposal sites.

Some items that can be recycled or reused
Paper
Plastic
Glass and ceramics
Miscellaneous

Most of the garbage generated in the household can be recycled and reused. Organic kitchen waste such as leftover foodstuff, vegetable peels, and spoilt or dried fruits and vegetables can be recycled by putting them in the compost pits that have been dug in the garden. Old newspapers, magazines and bottles can be sold to the kabadiwala the man who buys these items from homes.

In your own homes you can contribute to waste reduction and the recycling and reuse of certain items. To cover your books you can use old calendars; old greeting cards can also be reused. Paper can also be made at home through a very simple process and you can paint on them.

Fill in the table above with the articles shown below:

Old copies,Old books,Paper bags,Newspapers,Old greeting cards,Cardboard box

Containers.Bottles,Bags,Sheets,Bottles ,Plates.Cup,Bowls Old cans,Utensils,Clothes,furniture

The schematic diagram below depicts recycling of wastes

Source: CPCB Report on Management of Municipal Solid Waste

Waste recycling has some significant advantages. It
leads to less utilization of raw materials.
reduces environmental impacts arising from waste treatment and disposal.
makes the surroundings cleaner and healthier.
saves on landfill space.
saves money.
reduces the amount of energy required to manufacture new products.

In fact recycling can prevent the creation of waste at the source.

Questions:

1.     What is the definition of recycling?

2.     How does recycling make the environment cleaner and the air fresher to breathe?

3.     What can be used for composting?

4.     What happens to plastic?

5.     What are the steps involved in recycling? Name 2.

6.     What is organic kitchen waste?

7.     How can it be recycles?

8.     Who buys the old newspapers in Malaysia?

9.     How can you contribute to waste reduction in the home?

10.  Name 2 significant advantages of recycling.

11.  How can you, do your part in recycling at

A: the school

B.  home

C. the work-place

Vocablulary

1.discarded   2. NGOs  3.composting 4 pellets 5. Gasifiers 6  prior to  7. Commercial places 8 landfills

9 rag pickers 10. Junk dealers

LOO MEE KEUN 30.7.2012